For the love of the coffee shop

Some thoughts on third places

When I’m traveling, coffee shops become my anchor and my church. The first thing I do when I land in a new spot is look up where to get the best cup.

I’m quite particular about what I’m looking for.

It has to be a spot with comfortable chairs. Not those shops with cold metal stools that can barely fit my wide hips. It can’t be too sterile or snobby. If they are trying to cultivate a night club atmosphere with techno music bumping at 8am, I will walk right out.

If the barista has a mustache and looks like he will reprimand the many customers who will say “EXpresso” instead of “espresso,” that’s not the place for me.

I’m looking for a coffee shop that has well worn armchairs. The kind of place where a man in his seventies comes every day for his black coffee, indignant about the recent twenty-five cent price hike. I want to see a mom with a sticky toddler on her hip, hobbling her way through the door to treat herself to a latte after surviving another morning.

One of my favorite rituals is to sit, sip, and watch the morning rush unfold. It grounds me (I’m so clever). I doodle in my notebook or type a few words while the responsible adults hurry through their daily dance of receiving their cold brews and oat milk lattes.

A few weeks ago, I was feeling burnt out on the constant hum of Chicago. I went for a long walk, trying to get my nervous system to relax and I stopped into a coffee shop that was overflowing with little delights.

There was an Irish band playing music in the corner. A man set up a couple chessboards and battled opponents ranging in age from ten to sixty. My coffee came with a little chocolate truffle wrapped in blue foil. I found a spot in the corner and felt my shoulders relax, my jaw unclench.

I’ve always loved hanging out at coffee shops, but lately I’ve been wondering what it is about these spaces that I seem to crave more than most people I know.

Coffee shops can be classified as a third place- a place where you find community and humanity in between your home and work. This morning, I started laughing when it clicked. Of course I value third places when right now, I don’t have a first place (home) or second place (physical workplace).

Third places are sanctuaries where a person can go to rest, build relationships, and exchange ideas. In the seventies, third places were the hub of new ideas and organizing. These days, social media has become the third place for most people. It’s where we go to connect and share. It’s how we unwind after a long day of work.

Don’t laugh at me, but my secret hope is that physical third places will make a comeback in the coming years. Instead of scrolling our way to that feeling of connection, maybe we could meet in person and, you know, talk to each other. Maybe share some ideas, have some debates, get to know our neighbors.

I’ll keep holding the line for this pipe dream.

Until then, you can probably find me in some coffee shop, somewhere.